Some trends seem to pop up overnight like mushrooms, seeded by unseen any mysterious cultural spores. All of a sudden, the “Tradwife Movement” has become topical in the UK, and given our interest in ideological freedoms beyond religion, as well as wider human rights questions, this grabbed our attention. Also, in common with some other non-religious creeds, like Pastafarianism and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for example, it is undeniably eye-catching, and in the case of Tradwives, the combination of retro images and countercultural headlines is arresting. Why exactly are these people promoting gingham prints, and the idea that the road to happiness lies in washing someone else’s underwear (although possibly only if you are both female and heterosexual)?
Of course, push back against feminism is nothing new and takes many guises. The Tradwife movement, in particular, embraces the idea that women should dress in modest, but pretty clothing, submit to their husbands and devote themselves enthusiastically to the role of home-maker. Much of the original impetus came from religious groups in the USA (see the Real Stories documentary linked below for some interesting background on this). Unquestionably, certain interpretations of some faiths would tend in this direction: if as a matter of doctrine, gender roles are fixed and men and women are fundamentally different by divine design, then it makes sense to encourage people to do what they were born to do. Outsiders might reject the underlying theology in whole or in part, but it is at least self-consistent.
Without that religious underpinning though, it is harder to understand what drives the agenda. In British society at present, the idea of a couple acting as a team, and dividing their contributions according to inclination or convenience, is hardly radical or controversial. Furthermore, most people would agree that, unless they have to caring responsibilities for very young children or other high needs dependents, it is reasonable for a stay-at-home partner to do the lion’s share of the cooking and cleaning. Also, the desire to do things to make the person you love feel happy, comfortable and appreciated is essentially positive and health, but what is much more mysterious, however, is why the woman should necessarily act as the housewife. Come to mention it, why should we assume that we are necessarily talking about a couple? Families come in all shapes and sizes, we might be dealing with parents and adult children, siblings, friends or members of a religious community opting to live together, and surely, in any of these circumstances, it might be nice if whoever stays at home goes the extra mile when they can.
In short, in the absence of a religious belief, why would you embrace a biological determinism and rigid family structure, which demands that it needs to be a wife baking the cupcakes? Why wouldn’t you just be championing the choice and contribution of “people” who are homemakers, and/or share tips for getting the right consistency of icing sugar? All things considered, the Tradwife movement must surely be part of a wider ideological package, at least for anyone who does more than skim the surface.
One criticism of the Tradwife phenomenon is that it is associated with the politics of the far right, and a nostalgia for a less diverse, less inclusive world. Whilst this doesn’t mean that everyone who is attracted to Tradwife culture should automatically be labelled as consciously racist or homophobic, there are undeniably some aspects of nostalgia for the 1950s which are deeply troubling. Moreover, it is fair to point out that like a lot of loose groupings rallied by hashtags, the Tradwife camp doubtless includes a lot of different constituencies and agendas, and whilst some of them are almost certainly far right or alt right, others have perhaps not probed very deeply into the implications of their philosophy.
Needless to say, those within the Tradwife movement might, and in fact do, complain that they should not have to justify their lifestyle choices, and rail against what they perceive as attacks from feminists and others. They argue that if feminism is about choices, then their wishes to reject the equality agenda of modern society should be respected. Nevertheless, what makes that perspective problematic is the failure to appreciate that the legal as well as social changes which have occurred since the 1950s are precisely what makes adopting the Tradwife ethos a choice!
The reality is that in a world of unequal educational and employment opportunities, not to mention unrestrained discrimination, many women had precious little choice other than to embrace the role of housewife. Yet, of course, some women were pioneering high-flyers in many professional fields, but that just wasn’t a viable proposition for others, especially for those from working class families. Furthermore, in the twenty-first century, if a woman finds their Tradwife arrangement no longer suits them, they can go back into the workplace, protected by a raft of employment and equality legislation.
We are not suggesting that the labour market is now a level playing field in terms of gender, but it is a far cry from the situation which our grandmothers faced. In the 1950s if your husband was violent, unfaithful or just an unpleasant bully, then it was all too often a “choice” showing stoic acceptance, or leaving to face a future of poverty and social stigma, for your children as well as yourself. Separating from a husband meant losing your income, and very often cutting yourself off from your friends and support network as well. The shame around marital breakdown, frequently compounded by prejudiced assumptions about sexual immorality, meant that women in particular were reluctant to associate with divorcees, and glamourized portrayals of housewives relishing every moment overlook the dark reality of existence from many real women in this era.
So, whilst women might to choose to be housewives in the twenty-first century for a wide variety of reasons, it is wise to remember that this is only open to them as a “choice” because the legal system embraces gender equality as a non-negotiable value. For previous generations it was often a matter of stark necessity, a fact easily obscured by romantic portrayals of a fantasy world, which was conjoured up from escapist television. This is undeniable, and in our view, failing to appreciate the crucial freedoms which we enjoy could potentially set us on a dangerous road.
Related Articles
Tradwife woman claims that wives should submit to their husband and spend days cooking and cleaning (Heart 22/1/20)
Not everything women choose is a feminist choice-as Trad wives have proven (The Independent 21/1/20)
What is the Tradwife trend sweeping households (The Daily Mail 21/1/20)
Submitting to my husband like its 1959: Why I became a #Tradwife (BBC News 17/1/20)
Tradwives UK: Inside the controversial housewife movement (The Stylist 23/10/19)
#Tradwives: Social Movement Documentary (Real Stories, You Tube 7/2/19)
